So … my name is Mary Brewer … I grew up in the Chicagoland area … and I’ve lived in Chicago for … most of my adult life … When I was a kid … I was always a really busy kid … always … running around and playing … Like … aren’t all kids like that? … I loved dance … and performance … and music … I was always just dancing … and singing … and playing … performing … we would always perform for my mom … and for my friends parents … and stuff like that … I actually have four siblings … a lot of them are not close within my age range … but me and my sister … who’s about a year and a half older then me … we would do a lot of that together … we’d make up songs … and plays … and dance around the house and perform for my mom … So … junior high … and high school times … I was more of an athlete … I ran track and cross country … and I dabbled in some other sports … but it was mainly track … And … I was involved in dance and theater … outside of school … but not at my actual school … My mom put me in improve … and theater classes … at a pretty young age … I didn’t necessarily do it consistently … but … here and there … I kind of dabbled in a little bit of everything … Did I like to perform when I was younger? … Yes … definitely … And … I … actually originally wanted to go to performing art school … and I think it was … it was kind of discouraged … and so I didn’t do it … and … I regret that … So … I was kind of discouraged … my parents didn’t think I would make any money … and stuff like that … So … I went to UIC … and studied liberal arts … I studied sociology … and general woman studies … I also studied in Berlin … at Humboldt University in Berlin … I studied abroad there … for a semester … and just continued … going … I came back to UIC to finish … then I went back … I traveled around Europe a lot … and definitely attended a lot of … cabaret shows … German cabaret shows … I feel like that was one of the first times I was introduced to … circus … other then … maybe going to Barnum and Bailey when I was a little kid … And when I went when I was a little kid … I was like … “I want to be in the circus” … like every … little … kid … says … Once in high school … I went to the Bahamas … with my friend … and my friends mom … and we took flying trapeze classes … and I was … “This is the best” … I think in Europe was more … when I first started to see … the cabaret scene … and … you know … it’s very queer … interesting … circus … burlesque … variety cabaret shows … Yeah … I really enjoyed my time in Berlin … and all over Europe … Did I enjoy my time at UIC? … No … not really … I enjoyed … and I’m happy for a lot of the things that I learned … it taught me a lot of things … especially about critical thinking … and all of those things that you learn in college … When you’re studying sociology … and learning stats … and how to make stats … and how stats are created … I found that really interesting … and then also taking general woman’s studies … classes … I think helped me … I think it was one of the first times that I was able to … articulate my experiences as a woman … as a queer person … because I was learning … terminology … and I was learning about different social phenomenons … within that arena … this was about seven years ago … In Berlin … I was studying general woman studies … and also German … and German history … There were German students … International students from all over … American students … Canadian students … For the international students … we had language classes … Do I speak German? … I can speak it … I wouldn’t say I was fluent … they say it takes nine years of consistent use of a language to be fluent in it … and so many people speak English in Berlin … because it’s a big city … most Germans … speak a little bit of English … because of business … and trade … and technology … and everything … but … yeah … I feel I can get by … I could live there … and do fine … Back then … I was pretty young … and now … I don’t really … go out to the clubs or anything anymore … but … I definitely loved the nightlife there … the clubs there open Friday night … and don’t close until Monday morning … So … that was new … and fun for me … I definitely … had my fill of … the German club scene … and … the electronic music scene … that was going on there at the time … and also … just like … yeah … I would say … I really enjoyed it … I lived in East Berlin … but … West Berlin … I would say … at least at that time … it’s just really beautiful … the architecture is really different … from East Berlin … East Berlin is cool too … it just has that very … communist block architecture … very clean straight lines … I loved the museums there … the Helmut Newton museum … was one of my favorites … And just the parks … I feel like people spend a lot of time outside … especially during the summer … I feel like Berlin is a lot like Chicago in that way … where people really live for the summertime … because the winters can be really intense … and they have very erratic weather patterns there … Looking back … I think seeing circus in Europe … and seeing … the German cabaret scene … and … I feel like one of the first times I went to a burlesque show … was in Germany … and just seeing the … underground … performance art scene there … it’s just … really bold … out there … Berlin … at least back then … felt like the wild wild west … like … no rules … as long as you’re not hurting anybody … people were just doing crazy shit … that you definitely can’t get away with … in cabaret shows … and variety shows in Chicago … Just this year … was the first time I went to a … uh … it was like a secret … an insiders … burlesque show … where it was not censored … where the dancers got … completely nude … or nude to their comfort level … and … the fact that that is such a big deal … like … pasties … of course … are a part of the culture … the identity … and the aesthetic … and they’re great … and they’re super cute … but … it’s just really different there … nobody cares … if you see someones nipples … they have nude beaches … and things like that … Yeah … people were pushing the boundaries more so there … they don’t have a society that’s ruled by … like … (laughter) … a Protestant sense of … morality … So … once I finished school … I … kind of worked … traveled … I wanted to enjoy my life … I did that for several years … I’ve taken a lot of … recreational … circus … dance … performing art’s … classes … I spent a year … living in my van … driving around the US … just going to all these different cities … and that’s when I spent some time in Long Beach … and kind of got back into roller skating … which is something I did a lot when I was a kid … I’m a big fan of that … it was a hobby for a while … and now I’m integrating it into my performance … I feel like currently … I’m just kind of working on becoming a more and more … multifaceted performer … and integrating … my experience in … improve … and comedy … and dance … and circus … and rollerskating … and burlesque … and pole dance … and all that stuff … into my own … kind of … thing … I feel like I’ve always been a performer at heart … even from when I was a little kid … I’ve always loved … performing … and just … moving my body … and doing things with my body … and seeing what my body can do … Even now … I don’t perform as regularly as I would like to … but … I’m also currently in a full time circus training program … that’s more my goal … after I finish this program … is to really throw myself … full speed into … integrating the things I’ve learned … into my own performance … and continuing to gig … and put myself out there … and grow as a performer in that way … and get more involved … in the performance community in Chicago … or … wherever I live at that time … I might move … I don’t know if I can take the weather here anymore … (laughter) … I feel … I’ve performed here and there … for the last … couple years … The circus intensive program I’m now in … is nine months … and before that … I’d been taking recreational circus … and aerial arts classes … for … four years … something like that … I feel like I don’t have a super specific idea just yet … of exactly how I would like to perform … Ideally … I would love to … explore and experiment with … a lot of different forms of performance … Another part of my life … I’ve pretty much been … sex work has been my primary job … or my primary income … since I was … eighteen … I started off modeling here and there … doing some lingerie and boudoir modeling … and continuing with that … and at the time I didn’t consider it sex work … I didn’t realize until later on … “Oh yeah … that’s sex work too” … I’ve worked in sex work since then … I’m thirty now … I’ve worked in strip clubs … and I’ve done Dom work … and I do that now … and that’s really … the strip club and the Dom work is … particularly fun for me … because it is more performance … it’s like putting on an identity … that’s not … your regular … everyday … identity … you get to choose who you want to be … and what you want to look like … and how you want to present yourself … and what character you play … and then especially with Dom work … you’re creating these scenarios … for your clients … for your subs … for your slaves … Yeah … you’re building this world … kind of … and creating how you fit into it … how they fit into it … It’s very creative … and it takes a lot of creative … emotional energy … and labor … It’s fun for me … I enjoy it … It can be … a lot … it can be draining … you’re creating a whole world … right? … but it’s challenging and fun … I feel like I’ve only identified … as a sex worker for … maybe the last few years … even though I have been dabbling in sex work … on and off … for many years … I think until I started working in strip clubs … I don’t think I even … ever considered the Dom work … or the fetish work I did … mostly it was photography or video … as sex work … But it’s also like a very … a lot more … solitary … type of work … you’re not interacting with … other sex workers very much … you’re working … one on one with … photographers … or clients … I didn’t realize … how much community … I didn’t have … I worked in strip clubs when I was much younger … but just kind of on and off … for years and years … it was just something I dipped in and out of … when I needed some extra money … or if I wanted to go … on a trip … the last few years … I’ve been doing it pretty regularly … and also getting involved with the sex worker community in Chicago … and online … and internationally … going to SWOP … which stands for Sex Workers Outreach Program … its an international organization … For me it involves … going to fundraising events … going to community events … community support groups … and volunteering with street outreach … where we provide … clean … snorting and shooting kits … and condoms … and lube … and information about resources … for people experiencing … homelessness … and basically street based sex workers … but also serving … whoever would like the resources that we have … and that’s been really awesome … and meaningful … and really helped me … connect with … my community … Yeah … I feel … connecting with my community … and being around so many … out and proud sex workers … even if they’re not in every area of their life … just proud sex workers … who are … happy about the work they do … and are proud of what they do … I feel it really influenced me to be … more out as a sex worker … once I started being more out as a sex worker … I started to integrate … those pieces of my life … something that I had once just thought of as … an income … integrating that … into my performance … through … pole dance … and burlesque … and the Dom work … and then integrating some of the aspects of the Dom work … in my circus … and vaudevillian … side show … type … performances that I do … As far as social media … I feel it can be great … it’s really great when it comes to … and I really love it when it comes to connecting community … other sex workers … other performers … being able to see the things that … circus artists … or burlesque artists … or … pole dancers … and they can be doing it on the other side of the world … and to be able to … see … what they’re doing and experience that … the miracle of the internet … it’s pretty cool … But then … there’s all the negative things that go along with social media … and … as a sex worker … and an independent contractor … we’re … essentially small business owners … and … you really have to go about marketing yourself … you really have to prioritize it … and take it very seriously … and that especially … means … social media marketing … The past couple of years … there was a bill … called SESTA - FOSTA … It essentially … it’s been really terrible … and there’s a lot of people trying to repeal it … and I hope they do … it has essentially … made it impossible for sex workers to exist … on the internet … so … there’s very few spaces where we can be out … not just as far as advertising our services … or marketing ourselves … but … connecting with other sex workers … and having community … for sex workers … who really don’t have community that they can be with … in person … or if they’re unable to be present … with us … this bill has made it almost impossible for people to connect … and be there for each other … and learn about different resources … for … background checking … and staying safe … all these really essential resources … that sex workers need … So … it sucks … (laughter) … Social media for a sex worker right now … is a big pain in the ass … (laughter) … because of that bill … but hopefully … that will get … repealed … soon … For my foreseeable future … Well … I feel like … I want to see … what kind of opportunities will open up after I’m done with this circus training program … It’s pretty intense … and I’ve learned a lot … but it doesn’t leave a lot of time between … working … just to live … it doesn’t leave a lot of time to put yourself out there … and market yourself … as a performer … or a vaudevillian … I don’t know … or variety cabaret performer … as I guess … I would call what I do … it’s a little bit of everything … Yeah … I want to see what types of opportunities I have here … in Chicago … but I do think I would like to move out west … and see what kind of opportunities I have out there … I just don’t really want to … live … somewhere where there’s seemingly … eight months of … darkness and cold … (laughter) … It’s not fun for me … So … yeah … I’m looking for other places out west … I might go to Vegas … I’ve worked in Vegas a lot as a stripper … and as a Dom … and everything … there’s great circus community … lot’s of burlesque … and lot’s of cabaret and variety … lot’s of opportunities to perform … and also really great training facilities … for circus performers … and just continuing to enjoy life … and perform … and grow and learn … The main thing for me … and the main purpose of … me … performing … is … just cause it makes me happy …
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RedRum 02-11-20
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