My name is Vivi Valens … and I’m a burlesque dancer in Chicago … I’m originally from San Antonio Texas … Growing up in San Antonio … it was definitely a bubble … it’s a majority Mexican American culture … It was fantastic … My family is very working class  … There was always food on the table … a roof over our heads … my parents worked very very hard for that … I’m the youngest … out of three boys … they’re older then me … so … I kind of grew up in an only child scenario … because there’s an eleven year difference between me … and the youngest boy … I remember being happy … taken care of … not having any major concerns as a child … I never actually went to Mexico until I was in high school … and even then … it was just Reynosa … a border town … and … it was shocking … the landscape immediately changes as soon as you cross the border … like stone roads … dusty … dust … you can almost … it almost turned from green to brown … everything … Right along the river there was a shanty town … where people were living … it was like a completely different environment … I think we went into a deli … or a little corner store … looking at a newspaper on the counter … and it was showing a beheading … that had happened in the area … I remember thinking … Wow … that picture is graphic … I had never seen that in the United States … Growing up … because I was kind of like an only child … because my brothers were older … I spent a lot of time entertaining myself … I definitely got into drawing and painting … and making little clothes for my dolls … I always had my hands in some kind of craft … I didn’t take a formal art class … until I was in high school … and that’s when I learned that you can have a career in the arts … I feel … going back to when I was a child … and this has something to do with the working class thing … there was absolutely zero investment … into what am I occupying my time with … as long as I was safe … and people knew where I was at … that’s about how far involved my parents were … having things for me to do … There were no soccer classes … there were no after school art activities … that wasn’t on their radar … It wasn’t on my radar either … and my friends were in the same boat as well … In high school … I was just drifting along … Entering high school … I was feeling a little angsty … just because my parents were sort of over protective … I wasn’t experiencing anything out of the ordinary … I was just thinking … I want to do be different … I want to do this … and I want to do that … but I really didn’t know what I wanted to do … I just knew I wanted to be out from under the thumb … of my parents … I was still very creative … I still had my hand in all the activities I did as a kid … I think … I took an art class … when I was fifteen … or sixteen years old … and that was the teacher that educated me that you can actually do something with art … you should try to have focus right now … because if you decide to go to college … you can make a living doing some type of art … And that helped … define … and get me … in more of … a focused track … By the time I left high school … I knew I was going to go to school for graphic design and advertising … but … prior to those years … I had no idea … I though I was going to work in a bank … as a teller … I had no idea were I was going to end up … As far as other arts in high school … I did  theater when I was I high school … but that was just a default … because I needed a class … but I enjoyed it … I thought it was cool … but it never occurred to me that it was something I was going to pursue or push … It didn’t really speak to me … the way the visual arts did … After high school … I went to the University of North Texas … which is north of Dallas … It was a five hour drive between where I grew up and where I was going to go to school … It was a really big deal for my parents … they didn’t want me to do that at all … It was a culture shock … as I was saying earlier … different parts of Texas have very different cultures … The culture in north Texas was very southern … I would almost associate it more with the Louisiana … Arkansas … Mississippi mentality … versus the area that I grew up in … That was the first time I experienced … I don’t want to call it racism … but more of … people definitely had preconceived notions of how I should carry myself … and what I should be associating myself with … because I am Mexican American … Whereas before I felt … I was always seen as … I’m female … 5’7” … brown eyes … brown hair … That’s what I thought people saw … when they saw and interacted with me … When I first started going to school there … I realized … Oh … that’s not the first thing these people see … the first thing they see is that she’s a brown person … and whatever else they sort of make out of it … That was the first time I felt like I had to carry my ethnicity with me … people are reading that … and have expectations … of how I should behave … how I should speak … It was just a new entity … in my day to day … whatever I was sort of doing … and then I started to feel like I had to identify myself that way … because now … if other people are reading me as that way … now I have to identify that way … where previously … I didn’t think about it … When I was young … I didn’t feel like I had to represent my race … but now … when I was in school … at university … I felt like I was having to do that … At the time I didn’t realize it … but it’s an additional emotional labor … and I realize now … that’s not my role … My program at school was communication design … that’s technically graphic design and advertising … The program I was involved in was very competitive … and very cutthroat … I think we started out with about two hundred and fifty students in the program and we graduated with I think around ten or twelve … There was a very severe filtration process … That’s kind of where I picked up my … I call them my bad working habits … of working all night … limited amounts of sleep … doing whatever you have to do to meet a deadline … that’s where I learned that sort of activity … and that has unfortunately carried through into … what I do now … But … yeah … I was one of the ten that made it through the program … It was rough … It was cool in sense … because when you’re in university … and you are in a program that’s very intense and very structured … your whole focus is just on that … I enjoyed it … but it was also very rough … I learned a lot … not just technique … but coping mechanisms … throughout that process … We were constantly having to go through critiques … obviously … because it’s art … we were critiquing other peoples work … giving constructive feedback … really being able to analyze something … without taking it personally … I think is what I got from a lot of that process … I still carry that over into my everyday life … and even into performing … My work … is not who I am … so if somebody doesn’t like my work … or responds badly to my work … I know they’re responding to the work … and not necessarily responding to me … I think that’s important to remember if you’re going to be successful in any type of expressive … artistic … career track … I graduated school in 2005 … and I bopped around San Antonio for a bit … because I had just graduated … I moved back to the Dallas area … worked professionally there for a year or two … I got fired from my job there … for … politic reasons … I moved back to San Antonio … it was about 2008 … and we were getting real heavy into the recession … and I could not find an advertising … graphic design job … in San Antonio that was willing to pay me a living wage … to save my life … So I  was freelancing … at five different places … I did all kind of weird jobs … I sold roses from bars and restaurants … I was a cocktail waitress at different strip clubs … I was spreading myself very thin … just trying to survive … on my own … as a single person … I knew … around that time … I had to move to a larger market … because I just wasn’t making any money in San Antonio … It was kind of between L.A. and Chicago … I had a friend that was living in Chicago … and she was willing to let me couch surf … and that’s what brought me to Chicago … in 2010 … Sure enough … it was like one of those things … you make a decision … and things just start rolling in a positive direction … I got here … I had a job interview … I got hired … under contract work at … an advertising agency here … that lasted for a month … and then they brought me on full time … and I’ve been with that company ever since … So I’ve been with that advertising agency for roughly eight years … When all of that started to fall into place … I knew it was a good decision … Thank God that this started to happen … And … Chicago was very different … but I was sort of looking for that too … I grew up in San Antonio … and I was very familiar with it … and all my family is still down there … It moves at a slower pace then a major city does … when I moved to Chicago … it was so different … the people were different … the attitude was different … there’s seasons … there was … snow …  The first winter I was here … there was this big blizzard … and I was walking through this … it was like a snow tunnel … and I felt like I was on Mars … It was like a totally different world … but … it was needed … I felt like I was looking for a challenge … and I found it … it was very challenging … but it was also very rewarding … I found … hard work doesn’t always pay off … but when it does … it’s almost always positive … There are very accomplishable goals here in the city … and you can achieve them if you have the dedicated focus … at least that’s been my experience so far … How did I get into performing … I was kind of reeling from a breakup … and I think I was two years into being here in Chicago … I had liked my experience so far … but I was starting to think about moving somewhere else … I was also mending a broken heart … I spent a lot of time being sad about stuff … and then … a girl friend of mine … from Texas … was coming up here just to visit … and she had booked a pinup photography session … with Vavoom Pinups … which is still operational … I thought that would be fun … So I did it with her … and we did that together … and it was a lot of fun … I went online … because I wanted to see what kind of work they did prior to doing it … So … I came across some burlesque dancers that she had photographed … who were a part of Michelle L’amour’s Starlets … and … at the time they were a burlesque troop that Michelle L’amour headed … I thought … Wow … look at these woman … they look fantastic … they look beautiful … but they all all weren’t super skinny … they weren’t what I would  stereotypically call a pin up model … they came in all shapes … and sizes and … colors … It led me down an internet click hole … of finding out who Michelle L’amour was … and at the time she was offering burlesque movement classes … and I thought … “Yeah … Sure … I’ll sign up for one of them” … “that seems like a fun … fitness thing to do” … So I took an introductory class … it was a burlesque class … and I thought … after that first class … “Oh … Yeah … This is it” … So I continued to take some classes with her … And … again … I didn’t have any theater training … and I wasn’t a dancer … So this was my first time of integrating structured movement into my life like that … So … I took classes with her for a while … and I  was looking for a bartending job … or something … I don’t even remember what I was looking for … but … I saw another posting for another burlesque troop in Chicago … That was Kiss Kiss Cabaret … and they were looking for cigarette girls … Cigarette girls are essentially the equivalent of kittens … or pick up artists … for people who come in and clean up after a performer is done stripping … And I though … “Yeah … sure … why not … that sounds like a cool thing” … This while I was still doing my day job … And then I got involved with Kiss Kiss … and I let them know … that I didn’t really know what I was doing … I’m very interested in what you’re doing … so … If you’d be willing to take me under your wings … I’d be happy to do whatever you want me to do … I did that for roughly a year … and throughout that year … I was learning … learning the ins and outs … That was in 2012 … it’s been a while … I feel like since I moved to Chicago … time is evaporating right before my eyes … I can’t believe I’m getting so old (laughter) … It took me a while to find my bearings in this community … I wasn’t a performer … I wasn’t somebody that knew … how to occupy space … and go on stage … I didn’t know how to tell a story with my body … My start … I feel … was very slow … But … it was the right speed for me … When I first moved here … I was seeking out a challenge … I feel I’m a person the seeks out … learning new things … and being challenged in some capacity … to master something … to feel like you’re fighting for something … So … when I moved here … that was kind of what I was looking for … a hard push … in some sort of a direction … I think burlesque … brought that aspect into my life … I was at a point where I was doing well at work … I was becoming restless … and I wanted a new challenge … I wanted a new entity to enter my life … When I first came across burlesque …. It brought on that new entity I was looking for … It was interesting … challenging … it was outside of my comfort zone … but … I’m very interested in it … it just brought on this new world that I wanted to get into deeper … It definitely took my attention away from my day job … My day job … it’s a career track … It’s something that requires a lot of time … a lot of effort behind it  … and if you want it to … it can grow into positions that have … a lot more prestige … positions that pay a lot more money … But … that corporate track … was just not attractive to me … and I didn’t want to be that type of person … or that type of employee … so … burlesque came at a really great time … I was … I’m going to go on neutral at work … I’m going to do what I need to do … to stay employed and still do a good job … but my creative outlet was feeding into burlesque … I feel it’s helped in a lot of ways … in the advertising world … it can be very egocentric … very pretentious in a way … because it’s all about big ideas … it’s all about manipulating the way people perceive things … crafting messages that you want people to walk away with … There’s a little bit of a … Svengali … puppet master … sort of aspect behind it that you have to have in order to be very successful at it … That was just not appealing to me … with burlesque … I was able to channel in … creativity … It also kept me … I don’t want to say humble … It took me into a group of people who are still using artistic expression … as their main form of income … the way that they identify … it turns out … they don’t have 401K’s … they don’t subscribe to this corporate world … I feel more comfortable with these people … here … then with the other people over there … It feels like this is where my creative expression happens … In my corporate world … I just sort of punch in … and punch out … Some people do know the I perform … in my day job … but it’s definitely something that I don’t advertise … I’m not inviting people to shows … It feels like … it’s not really for them … My face … appeared at Uptown Underground … There used to be a huge billboard … on the side of that building … That was my big … old … face … (laughter) …  It gets around … that this is something I’m occupying my time with … I try to keep a very definitive line between this and that … It’s kind of like separate identities … I feel my persona on stage is … it’s an alias … right … It’s still me up there … it may be an exaggerated version of me … I don’t transform into somebody else when I’m on stage … it’s just me … ten times bigger … My first troop was with Kiss Kiss … I pretty much stayed with them the entire time … until Uptown closed … Kiss kiss shortly followed … They were always my home base for a long time … I would be booked with them … I would have two shows a month with them … and they were the people that really helped me grow … and learn as a performer … through them … is how I met other performers in the city … The second troop I meet was through Donna Touch … She’s an independent performer … but she’s also designs feather fans … she doesn’t  perform that much anymore … but at the time … she was starting her own troop … but that also folded … after two or three years … When you do these shows … hopefully you have well curated casts … where it’s not just the same people over and over again … you meet different performers … you become friends with these people … and then you’re lives begin to intersect … slowly … and that’s how I got involved with Crocodile … we just knew each other from doing shows … every so often … and they had the idea for the Murder Mystery … and I thought the idea … was needed … because it’s all POC based … and trans-activist awareness … The casts of people in her shows … are all people of color … I’m completely 100% down for the cause … Crocodile is amazing … so of course I wanted to be associated with anything they’re a part of … That’s pretty much … how any show booking now happens … I know somebody … and they know me … What I’ve seen … in regards to social changes … I think within burlesque … there’s definitely been some changes as far as … how it exists … I will say this … each city has it’s own scene … and … they do things completely different … expectations are different … there’s different players involved … there’s different issues within each scene … in one city … there may be a string of problematic producers … so you’d have to be aware of who’s problematic … and try not to work with them … In another city … maybe there’s very strict blue laws … and you’re not allowed to reveal as much as you’d want to reveal … Every city has their own set … of issue their fighting against … I feel in Chicago … one thing that’s shifted in just my time of performing … is that … it used to be very heavy in having theater productions … and troops … and you really couldn’t get stage time unless you were a part of a troop … and now … it’s completely different … everybody is now an independent performer … and bar shows … are what people sort of lean into … Navigating this … has been a change … And as far as working with people in the service industry … we need to make sure … that … the customers knows … not to touch us … they need to be educated in the actual space we need … to get dressed … and undressed … they need to be educated in how to pay us … I feel a lot of work … has sort of been done … in that avenue … trying to have as much agency as possible … within those new spaces … that we’re being invited into … Other things … I think … yeah … problematic producers are being called out … a lot more … People want to know that they’re not working for somebody that has a problematic history … or somebody who’s using … their own preferences to cast their shows … People want to know … do they have any assault charges against them … Sharing of information … is important … and it’s been happening more and more often … now I feel there’s more transparency … Using social media … as a tool … Yeah … people want to be aware of who you are … and what you represent … especially if you’re trying to get outside of the city … Everyone likes to travel … right? … See new places … Meet new people … If you want to leave Chicago … and perform … that’s how people learn who you are … is through social media … They learn … what topics do you like to discuss … are you a good promoter … are you a good performer … do you have video clips … These are all things you can use to sell yourself to producers that may not be aware of you … they’ll look through your Facebook timeline to see who you’re associated with … If you have a history of working with somebody that’s problematic … you may shorten your performance opportunities … because … it’s an association thing … I don’t want to work with somebody who’s associated with someone who’s done a terrible thing … Social media gives the lowdown on who a person is … I don’t have a channel … but Youtube is really good … that’s where you can house your performances … I think people love Instagram … because it’s all visual … it feels like you get little snippets about what people are up to … People use these tools … but they feel they’re a necessary evil at this point … Can you be a successful performer and not use social media? … No … I don’t think so … not at this point … You have to have a very big presence … you have to have a lot of community awareness … Future plans? … I think for a while … cause I am older … that I just sort of thought … Im going to perform until I can’t anymore … or until it doesn’t interest me anymore … and it still interests me right now … I definitely go through periods where I … don’t want to do this anymore … or I’m tired … or I want to focus on something else … or maybe I should be focusing on something else that would be more to my benefit as I get older … But for now … if my body can do it … then I want to continue performing … as long as I find it challenging … and it’s feeding me someway creatively … I’m going to keep on doing it … So I don’t know … I have no idea if that means by the time I’m forty … I’m going to give it up … or … I don’t know if it means by the time I’m seventy … I have no idea … Right now the plan is … continue … refining myself as a performer … maybe produce … but … I’m somewhat interested in it … I’m just interested in … always … becoming a better performer … I carry this over into my advertising work … I feel I can always be better …