My name is Christian Giordano Saponaro … I go by Crísto … I also go by Louie Oakwood … I also go by Crystal … I also go by Peanut … and Papito by my mom … I’m from Cleveland Ohio … and I have a beautiful life … As a child … I did a lot of sledding … In Cleveland when I was a child … If you’re talking about … like before teenage years … it was more … that innocent type of stuff … that was a part of a lot of peoples life … I don’t know … spending time … doing parties with my family … I didn’t really go out much when I was little … What I found joy in … was kind of what was around me … and what was easily accessible … so … whatever my parents … gave us … was what we did … So … I mean … we had a bow and arrow … I did a lot of archery in my back yard … we had a basketball hoop … we played a lot of basketball … a lot of sports … both my parents played sports … so we played a lot of sports … I had fun doing art by myself … when I was by myself … like … getting away from everything … this is where I found a lot of my solitude … that’s also where I found a lot of happiness … being able to be alone … with myself … being alone in the basement … and having an idea … and being able to have the materials to produce it … was really … a blessing … because … not a lot of people have things … that other people have … and it was a calling of mine … to put something down on paper … I didn’t really call it art at the time … it was just what I wanted to do … use my imagination … yeah … absolutely … sometimes I just wanted to feel the brush stroke … Did I hang out with artists when I was in high school? … No … no … I didn’t … because … it wasn’t really around me … not a lot of artists were in my life that were my age … it was more so … a lot of “jocks” … a lot of “bros” … I went to an all boys Jesuit high school … so I didn’t really fit in with the status quo of what the student was supposed to be … I wore a suit and tie every day … I was on the sixth floor of the art … the art floor … kind of a desolate type of space … That was where I … lived … honestly … where I ate my lunch … I found myself being most happy there … because I just didn’t see myself with anybody else … In high school … there were no musicians … not really any artists … the artists that were there … I used that floor as something … that not a lot of people probably did … because I used it as kind of a refuge … and … I … I wasn’t really supposed to be there … teachers weren’t up there at that time … during lunch periods … I used it as that … and I also hid … that was where I was most happy because I had the materials … and when I was in art classes … but I needed to have some space that was different then what I was experiencing … from the hourly … you know … Was I rebellious then? … I feel like I’ve been rebellious just from … like … the way I was born … just like the way I look … I feel like people kind of put that connotation on you … connotation … of like … this dark … boy … with bags under his eyes … that … kind of is a little more … not as open … outwardly … maybe open inwardly … if that makes sense … and kind of a mystery … I feel like that’s been put on me for a while … so it kind of has to be true … in some aspect … just from the way I look … Was I religious person? … No … I went there because my parents picked the high school … I was able to choose a couple of colleges that I wanted to go to … and Columbia was the only one I wanted to go to … As far as high school … I didn’t give a fuck where I went … I was … “Alright this is where I’m going … cool” … Honestly if I had the option … I don’t think I would have known enough to really make a good choice with that … so I definitely don’t feel like … “Wow … I wish I would have done this instead” … I feel like I’m well above the average of being educated in high school … I had a great education … so I really don’t regret that in any way … I just had to deal with my things … just like everyone else has to deal with their own things … A lot of the things my parents did with me … was dictated by how my older brother was … My relationship with my older brother … has a lot to do with who I am today … My brother was … like … a thug … He made music … he made rap music and hip hop … he’s tattooed all over … That was the first time I ever saw a gun … That’s when … I remember going into my brothers room … and opening a lunch box … that I used to use in grade school … tucked in behind his desk … I picked it up … and … I biked to a little open field … and I shot it off … not knowing any better … I think I was fifteen or sixteen … I remember these guys when I was coming back up the hill … it was a weird ravine … these guys were … “Yeah … you shooting off cherry bombs back there?” … or he was … “What are you shooting off back there?” … I was … “Oh … just some cherry bombs” … and he’s like “That’s a lot louder then cherry bombs” … It was then … that I saw … someone recognize what I was doing … and that made me realize what I was doing … It’s a lot of instances in my life where I was … kind of … faced with that … My brother was selling drugs … having me mix cough syrup up with other type of drugs … stealing medicine from CVS … and turning it into cough syrup … He … introduced me to a different lifestyle … then what our parents wanted to give us … It was a weird … I wanted to be a part of my brothers life … I wanted my brother to love me … I wanted my brother to understand who I was … and yet … I wanted the same thing from my parents … So it was … a weird battle that I was facing my entire life … of wanting to make both of them … love me … want me … accept me … and … I’m kind of dealing with a lot of that … But yeah … Chicago … Chicago just gave me a freedom … Chicago really … it was just a space … that I needed to go to … because I needed to get out … of where I was … and I knew I needed to … it just took me away from a lot of things that consumed my mind … Out here … I really don’t feel like I need to think about those things … even though a healthy person should … a healthy person should be keeping those things … not in the forefront of their mind … but also like … they should be keeping those things in check … and coming back … and understanding them … and knowing that it’s ok … Chicago just … it gave me that escape … and … a healthy escape … because … it was just so … in my face … the entire time of living there … so many things … not just what my brother was … but just … so many things … I got into the film program at Columbia … it was a great time in my life … I don’t think the great time I had … reflected … the great program … I feel like … it is what you make of it … which I don’t think I was making … of it … what I should of … I was definitely a little lazier … I definitely didn’t really want to talk to a lot of people … I was definitely more inward back then … I didn’t want to talk to people … I wanted people … to approach me … and that’s really not how it works … The film program … for the most part … gave me … knowledge … it didn’t really give me any creative spark … I feel like my spark … of myself … comes from within … will always … just because I’m such a passionate person with things … and when I really want something … I’m going to make it happen … and … I feel things emotionally … that a lot of people … I just know don’t feel … so I have that edge of … just being a sensitive person … and understanding different emotions … and maybe what someone does to someone … and them not realizing what that person could feel … just from their actions … I’m very in tune with how people talk and act … towards each other … I pride myself on that … and I feel like that really shows … or at least it will show … when I have something to show … with film … I do have film … I have works … its just not exactly what I know that I’m going to be able to … or at least that I’m proud of precisely … As far as meeting my present group … I definitely didn’t have as many friends until I moved into the “space” … I really didn’t … I was alone out here for a while … trying to make friends with people that didn’t really want to be friends … So … I was living with two accountants … because they had a closet … and … they’re friends from back home … and once I got kicked out from my ex-girlfriend … it was last summer … I was homeless for a few days … and I didn’t really have a place to live … So I called them up … and asked to live with them for a month … and of course they said yes … well … not … of course … but they said yes … I lived with them … and then I kind of just … was trying to be the best roommate possible … and they ended up letting me stay for six months … So … at the end of those six months … they were telling me that they were going to move to a new place … it was … nine hundred dollars a month … and I wasn’t able to do that at the time … and … I randomly followed this one girl … on Instagram … and a few weeks later I saw her post … a picture of some beautiful room … and it said three hundred and forty dollars a month … and the name … Jessie Williams under it … I went to Jessies page … and … I contacted him … I was … “Can I see the space … what’s going on … this can’t be actual … what is this” … He was … “Yeah … you just got to see the space man … I really can’t tell you that much … you just got to come here” … So the next day after I contacted him … I was there … I saw it … and that’s where I met most of my roommates now … and the next day I moved in … and … it became a community … it was definitely a community … It felt like a community at first … but it turned into a family after a while … it really did feel like … people loved each other … and were really wanting everyone to do well … everyone really wants everyone to thrive … and to be happy … it’s … a very healthy living situation if you’re … an artist … and if you’re on the same page with these other people … and you create work … and you’re not just some business man that has a career … That’s what I was feeling a lot living with those two guys … it just made me feel … lesser … of a person … like … Wow … you have this job you go to … you’re making so much more money then me … and I’m just here doing freelance work once in a while … editing some videos … and because I’m aware of so much … I had a feeling of what they thought of me … and it just started to make me feel like … I was lesser then them … and I know that’s not the case … because in ways … I’m much more then them … It’s funny … my creativity was enhanced when I was living with my ex … and ever since I was living with her … I haven’t been making as much fine art … which I’m really sad about … I haven’t found a spark … or … some sort of … it may just be reality setting in … the fact that … hey … it might not be fine art that you’re making your money in … because right now … it’s really … it’s not that it is … it just feels like it’s do or die … find what you’re really trying to do … and stick with it … and go with that … and I just have so much doubts … on so many different things … where its like … what do I really want to do … You know … this space … it’s beautiful … and the space really promotes … healthy living and a family vibe … but … it can also take away from some of your … ambitions … because you can get comfortable … at least that’s my experience with it … Sometimes I feel like … I don’t have someone … breathing down my back … or at least I don’t have the alone time … I need to be doing something … because I have no-one here around me to … be talking with … or be having an interaction with … I lived alone for a while … and that’s when I was making a lot of work … as well … But also … going back to what I was saying about the work I made with my girlfriend … or working when I was living with her … it was kind of … I only needed to make the move on the thing I was feeling the most … and fine art was that thing … at that time … and that was the move I had to make at that time … I had to push … and that was some of my best work … that I ever made … in my life … I can say right now … that it was incredible … It was the push of … the insecurity of what she thought of me … of not having a job … and being an artist … and her having a job … and coming home every night … and me just kind of being there … I’m an artist … this is my job … but also … I have to be making money … I have to give something … I have to be a positive thing to be around … I can’t just be some guy … that she’s just living with … Do I feel my peer group is more socially aware? … Yeah … definitely … The thing with pronouns … that’s why Chicago is so beautiful … if I went back to Cleveland … I’d be called “gay” … I’d be called “queer” … not even that that those are bad things to be called … but it’s that … people don’t understand … people take things like … you say one thing … and you’re just labeled … and here … it’s way more open for interpretation … and there aren’t … conclusions … that are just based off the first meeting … I mean … I just get a lot of … just more acceptance … just more openness … I definitely feel compared to Cleveland … there’s just so much more of a chance … for sure … Do I feel optimistic? … I definitely feel I’m here on this earth for people to … to look at my things … and understand … that they’re not alone … and that people have gone through hard times … and that … people rise above that … and people make beautiful things … out of ugliness … if you even want to call it that … everything beautiful in it’s own way … pain is beauty … difficult times are beauty … death is beauty … when you have that outlook … when you have that light … and you’re able to shine it on to other people … and feel that you can have an impact on someones life … and I’m really trying to be that light … That’s what I strive to be … I want to make someone smile every day … I want to make someone think every day … I want to make someone … feel intense emotion … and feel something that … can change how they look at a certain thing … Social media? … I really don’t care about social media … I don’t think in the grand scheme of things it’s going to be important … it’s more so in the moment type of thing … I can post all I want on my Instagram … and it doesn’t mean the right people are going to be able to see it … It has a lot to do with what you do on the outside of social media … the people you meet … and the places you put yourself in … and the situations you are … open to … social media can only go so far … it’s not an easy thing to be an icon … on social media … and even if you are … it’s not really a happy life … it’s not really what it’s cracked up to be … Obviously … I’d be down for it … but it’s not a reality in my life right now … Honestly … it doesn’t happen to people that want it … it kind of just happens … naturally … as if … in any type of artist … you know … I like it because I can show … visuals … and I can show … and I can let people know what I’m doing … which is a beautiful thing … like stories … I love posting on my story … I love making art with that … but also … it kind of makes me feel like I just need to do that … and I don’t need to make other things … so I have a weird relationship with Instagram … and Twitter … and social media … because … sometimes I put all of my effort into social media … and I don’t really put my effort into art … even though I do consider my art on social media … to be art … It’s confusing … social media is just confusing … man … What will I be doing in my near future? …  I’m trying to go to Mars … I’m trying to do the most … explore the world … to it’s fullest … I know its ridiculous what I’m saying … but … I don’t really want to be … in the reality of my future … because … sometimes that not really fun to think about … even though … it should be exciting to me … I don’t really view it as that right now … You know how they would bring teachers up in space … they would bring someone … who’s not an astronaut … into space … I want to be the artist that they bring into space … that can see things differently then the mathematician … or the scientist … and can see things in a different type of context … I want to be able to explore the unknown … and see things … and explain things to people that weren’t able to experience it … and capture things … That’s … one of my goals that I would love to fulfill … I don’t know … I’m making films everyday … and … hopefully they all add up … and they give me experience to make something that’s going to be beautiful … in the future … that’s all I can really hope for … I’m going to grow every day … I’m going to take a step everyday … I’m going to try to be happy every day … I’m going to do the positive things in my life … and film and art is part of that … and it’s something I’m going to do for the rest of my life …