My name is Mara Mayhem … and I’m a professional dominatrix in Chicago Illinois … I was born in Germany … specifically Heidelberg … I lived there until I was a teen … and then we moved to the United States … Being a child in Germany … I was the main translator a lot of times for my family … at least for my mother … who … while she did teach German … was very shy about her German skills in the general public … from an early age I had to play translator … even as a shy child … that was my duty … As far as a city … Heidelberg … I go back periodically … so yeah … as a child it’s the most wonderful place … especially around Christmas time … I think European Christmas’s by far are … superior … not in a nationalistic way … but just in terms of decor … atmosphere … attitude … etc … Heidelberg itself is … partially a medieval city still … it’s a smaller city … and it wasn’t bombed during World War II … so a lot of the art nouveau housing is still intact … I remember that the whole city was just decorative … and I think that inspired my whole outlook on fashion … and life as well … I … I do still speak German … I’m not as active a speaker … but … as an example … the other night at the Strauss opera that I attended … Electra … I’m translating the entire script that’s on the screen into German … After leaving Germany … My next location was the middle of nowhere United States … In the middle of a cornfield I like to say … In a town where everybody knew each other … and I did not … So a great sense of displacement befell me at that point … at about the time of middle school … What a great time … in the mid nineties … to be surrounded by corn and no culture (laughter) … I mean it’s culture … but it’s not … as vibrant … I guess … Did I miss Germany? … did I want to go back? … Oh … every day … I would ask … so … when do we go back? … although … maybe after a while … as a grumpy teenager … I did not … but it was implied … I wasn’t exactly happy … I couldn’t wait to get out on my own and see the world … again … I was grateful that my mother is an artist … I had artistic surroundings in my home … I had a great art teacher and music teacher … to this day … due to musical theater … I have her to thank … but … I really couldn’t wait to leave … high school graduation couldn’t come soon enough … After that … believe it or not I … came to the Chicago area … and that’s where the pieces of the puzzle fall into place … I came here on scholarship to a small liberal arts college in the northern suburbs … on the north shore … I went to Shimer College in Waukegan   Illinois … Rest in Peace … It no longer exists … It was a sign of the times … that school … So … I attended a Great Books college that thrived on Socratic method dialog … We didn’t have traditional textbooks … or … quizzes necessarily … we had … we would have a round table discussion with a facilitator … and we would be graded upon our participation … and comprehension of original text material … So … by eighteen I’m reading Plato in completion … I have a philosophy degree … yes … but it’s considered a BA degree in liberal arts … It was considered … one of the reasons it was not a fondly looked upon school by the board of education … if you will … is because the graduation rate is so low … because it’s such a complicated curriculum to finish … So … A pat on my shoulder for that … From there … I had been working part time and I moved into the city … and I have friends here … eclectic people from all walks of life are my friends … I knew people in a sex magic temple … that were pagan … and vastly polyamorous … I also became aquatinted with the burning man community a little bit at that time … I attended a few raves here and there in my early twenties … Then I decided I was fed up with retail … and being underpaid … and then I decided to become a sex worker … I started attending kink events when I was nineteen … and so I knew I was kinky from an early age … but I didn’t know where on the spectrum I would lie … was I a switch … was I a bottom … or was I a top … Now early memory will tell you that I was a top … because I tied up boys in my backyard … luckily my mother never saw those things … So … I decided … because I wanted to make a living wage … and because I thought I should be my own boss … at all times in my life … that … sex work was ideal for me … So … I decided to start with foot fetishes via Craigs List … It was little tricky at first … but I ironed out the bumps so to speak … and found a few clients through screening and meeting in public places … making sure that they were who they said they were … The screening techniques I use now for my clients are similar if not more advanced then what I was using in the mid 2000’s … From foot fetishes … it evolved to what you are looking at now … although there was a little segue into porn … briefly … as well as … maybe a brief stint into being a courtesan … but I preferred fetish … and that’s where I stayed … I enjoy working for myself … and I enjoy the ability to utilize so many different skills sets in one arena … one career … I’m my own fashion designer … I’m my own office manager … I’m my own janitor … (laughter) there’s a lot of different duties I have for myself … I’ve always preferred being independent … earning something for myself … there’s just something very gratifying about that … instead of having it handed to me to easily … I like working for my things … that I have in my life … As far as travel … I have traveled quite a bit with being a Pro Dom … I have gone to Germany … I have gone to London to work …. I have worked in Canada … I have worked in New York … I’ve worked in a lot of major cities … It’s a bonus … it’s a change of scenery … it’s a change of pace … and like Machiavelli … if you want to establish a long range … an empire … you have to make friends in different parts of the world … I take a very Machiavellian approach to certain parts of my job … Destinations I like to go to … I love … I love London … absolutely love London … I would live there in a minute … Where else have I gone to where I’ve really enjoyed … I really enjoyed Toronto … It’s like Chicago of the north … What is it about London … England in general that attracts me? … I like the pace … with specifics to London … I enjoy the history surrounding the city … knowing that when you’re walking on those cobblestone streets … you’re walking on …  who knows who’s walked there before you … Just looking at the river Themes is looking at history … I like to do a little bit of everything …  while I’m in a city … With specifics to London … I have gone to raves in London … I have friends in London that I stay with … I go to grocery stores in London … I really enjoy grocery stores in other countries … People being offended in this age … Let’s see how I can approach this question … In terms of social media and how people are offended by … there’s definitely a lot of censorship … especially in the last year … with my line of work …. there’s a lot of photos or content I can’t post on certain platforms because of legality issues … we can thank SESTA-FOSTA for a lot of that … that was a bill that was signed last April by Donald Trump that really effects sex workers … who are consensual sex workers … and that’s how I consider myself … I’m not a victim of traffic … I’m not oppressed … this bill in particular censors all media platforms … especially on the internet … from exposing content of ours … because … well … they could be a traffic victim … even though I have a registered I.D. and everything … I’m put at risk … I don’t appreciate the censorship … There’s other subjects … like cultural appropriation … There are certain … lets just say … social engagements or interactions where I must be careful about what I bring up … or if I bring up this profession … because … it can be responded to in a negative context … “Oh … so … you’re a victim” or “I’m offended that you do that” even though the person who is saying that isn’t being exposed to … necessarily the concept of S&M or in pain … I’m somehow offending their ears … Why can’t we have a dialog about it … No one’s forcing you to participate … or have a conversation with me … but you’re imposing yourself on this … and you are making yourself into the victim … To me … I have no sympathy for unnecessary victimhood … I have no regrets with going into this profession and doing what I enjoy … As I grow older … I enjoy it more … and I love having this creative outlet … The concept of … I’m offended … because You’ve offended me … Offends me … There’s just this stupid downward spiral that could be avoided if people just learned to talk to one another … like adults … instead of pointing fingers … or slapping everybody on the wrist … or reporting photos … or speech … there’s no freedom of speech anymore … and I though this was the land of the free … quote unquote … As far as fashion … I’m part of the goth scene locally in Chicago … I find I take a lot of inspiration from movies such as the Catherine Deneuve movie The Hunger … As a prime example … I love certain looks from the 80’s … I’m a child of the 80’s … I remember the German goths from when I was growing up … because my siblings are so much older … in full regalia … just loving all their alternative friends … My brother’s a musician … and so … we had interesting people in and out of the house when I was growing up … I love all black … personally … I mean … I should maybe try to be a little more daring and incorporate more color … so maybe red will come into the picture some day (laughter) … Baby steps … I love all black … I have pale skin … black works … it’s never out of fashion … so … black will always be a part of my style … as will combat boots … just because … you can run out the door with them in a dress … in leggings … what have you … it’s just convenient and efficient … That’s the German in me coming out (laughter) … What do I do in the city … for fun? … When I’m not working … When I have the time to engage with my community … Let’s see … I like to write for a small publication that my friend runs … I try to do some writing here and there … I like to interview people as well … I do that … I like to go iceskating … believe it or not … I’m a big fitness person … I’m always trying to find the next adrenaline rush in a way … Instead of the nasty cocaine habits that some people have for adrenaline … I just try to find activities that really engage my mind and body … My partner is practically a hockey player level skater … he’s so good … I’ve learned to adjust to his level of skating really fast … As far as music … I like a vast variety of music … top favorite … let’s say top four genres … I like goth rock … traditional goth rock from the 1980’s … I adore post punk … I really like certain … how would you define Massive Attack? … would that be considered trip hop? … I would consider that trip hop … So … I like trip hop … I have an affinity towards the opera … so … all over the spectrum … Ok … five … six … I like I like indie rock … and some synth pop … How do I incorporate social media into my profession … and my life … Let me think on that for two seconds … social media acts as a wonderful … and sometimes terrible (laughter) outlet for allowing me to present myself to the world so to speak …. You can see my latest work online … especially on Twitter or Instagram … although Instagram has more censorship … sensitivities … than say Twitter does … I use Periscope … which is connected to Twitter as a form of … allowing people to interview me … allowing people to get to know me … or allow them to be … the fly on the wall in my life … so they can see what I’m up to … where I’m at … without me disclosing locations to often … because sometimes I don’t want people to know where I am … I don’t check in places very often … I use Instagram … I use Facebook … I use Periscope … I use Twitter … I think that’s it for now … I think I like Instagram better then Twitter …. because of the visuals … just because I’m a visual person … It’s also where I can see other mistresses work … and see through their eyes … so to speak … The pros and cons of social media in my work … Social media … let’s start with the downside I’ll go to the what’s good about it in a minute … What I find terrible about social media is … well … we’ve discussed censorship … so there’s that element … I can’t express a lot of things online the way I used to … Two … social media has been kind of the death of publications that used to feature my advertisements … etc … you have to take the advancements of the technological age with the downside which is there are no publications like DDI and Fem Dom World … insert name of fetish zine … here anymore … there not as prevalent … they can’t survive in this day and age … I think another detriment of social media is the instantaneous of everything doesn’t cause people to … pause … and think about things … our memory … our attention spans are so short … our short term memories are just caput … What do I like about social media? … it’s allows me to stay in touch with people from all over the world … so … whether they’re clients … or film producers … photographers … I can stay in touch with them more accessibly … without running up a huge phone bill with international calls … so there’s that … It’s a great way to find inspiration … if I’m looking for new ways to … if I need to think of new ways to incorporate bondage or visuals into my life … What else is there that makes social media great? … It’s a good way to advertise … but it’s not great … again … going back to the short term memory being … broken … these days … What are my goals and plans for the near future? … well … for starters … I’m updating my website … completely revamping it … That’s a definite short term goal that’s probably happening this week … that I’m thinking about a lot … I am thinking about the long term … where do I want to be in ten years … because … it’s always good to have a game plan … although you don’t have to follow it to the tee … I want to think about … Who am I … in my next incarnation … Will I still be doing this? … will I be doing this … and something else … That’s what I have to start thinking about … Because I’m a realist … I could easily do this for the rest of my life … but … I think … being the person that I am … I want to try other things … get my feet wet in some other arena … master a new skill …